I did something that impacted me greatly – I added a morning routine that has changed my life. Just one year ago, I found myself constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, barely taking care of myself and honestly feeling unhappy.
I had my son who was months old, a full-blown career as a director of a youth program, new home and my partner was leaving to work like at 4 am in the morning. It was weird though because on paper, I was living the life I had dreamed of but yet was so unhappy.
- Ranked higher at my full-time job
- Bought a home
- Got my dog
- Became pregnant with my boy after undergoing IVF
What was the problem?
The problem was that I didn’t feel joy. I was stuck in constant busyness. I was in literal survival mode. And when I went out to look for resources or support online, the majority of blog posts and/or pins on pinterest told me this was normal and “the way it has to be.”
But after a huge breakdown while getting myself ready for work, with my son and a super long to-do list, I vowed to not accept this way of living. I knew it would be hard and challenging but it didn’t have to feel this terrible.
One of the changes that I made was creating a morning routine (or two – more on this below) that involved time with myself. I knew I needed to quiet all the noise around me, and truly figure out what I need in order to feel good raising my boy and building my career.
Below I list out three changes I made as to have a more successful morning routine.
It’s now one year later, and I feel so much more alive, on purpose and happy despite the craziness of my day-to-day life.
This is what I did differently…
- Created 2 different morning routines (before kids wake up and after they wake up):
Now, as a busy mom one of the hardest things to do is finding anytime for just yourself. I also knew that I had to work through some limiting beliefs and negative self-talk that I often participated in. So, this meant creating two separate routines where one was mainly focused on me and the other the kids/ household.
Note: everyone’s schedule is different so how much time you allot to each routine will depend on when you have to take the kids to school and/or go to work. This may also be something to incorporate in your evening routine if you get home at a decent time. I get home at 8pm so my mornings are most important to me.
- Each routine has no more than 5 MUST DO items and a few *if I have extra time and want to* items:
Before doing this, I would literally have this super long to do list that overwhelmed me by just looking at it. I had to honestly ask myself, do I need to do all of this today? Is there anything I can space out throughout the week or month? And what are my actual priorites?
See, there will always seem to be a whole host of things to get done as you think about your different responsibilities with the home, kids, work, self and relationships. However, as a working mom, I realized that I couldn’t do all the things, all the time or at the same time.
I had to learn how to delegate and then pick out which things were most important in that moment in time. Forget feeling like you have to be doing everything in order to live up to societal’s standards of a “good” mom.
3. In my morning routine, before the kids get up, I’ve added a morning ritual that consists of meditation, journaling, drinking water and getting some movement in.
Okay, now my morning routine pre kids waking up includes 4 main items: me time, light tidying up, 1 business to do item and movement/hydration. I typically get up around 4:30 or 5 am and the kids don’t get up until 7:30 or 8 am.
What I realized is that I needed time to ground myself mentally. We are all different and take in information in one of three ways: visually, auditory or physical/touch. I will create a longer post about this in the future.
My point was that I realized I was mainly a mix of visual with auditory, so I looked for strategies to help me while leveraging that. For example, I began listening to meditations and affirmations every morning. I also started to do visualization practices to help me see the life I not only want to have but how I want it to feel in it.
By doing this, all the little things I didn’t get to on the daily life didn’t tick me off as quickly. I began to express gratitude which taught me patience even in the toughest of moments with my kids.
So doing this morning ritual has been vital for me for emotional balance.
Mama, don’t forget less is more
My challenge to you is to find even 10 minutes to do some mental/mindset work to help ground you for the day. This practice has been the most transformative for me.
Then make sure your to do list reflects your priorities in this current season of life. Sometimes it’s important to slow down and take in everything going on around us.
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