How to define balance as a working mom

What is balance means as a working mom with kids?

That is a loaded question that intimates us moms all the time. The word balance has meant that you are equally distributing your time and energy into the different tasks and/or responsibilities. However, when you become a mom and seek this work life balance, the definition of balance changes. When you realize that balance can only be defined by you, you are then able to focus on the structures and routines that need to be established in order for you to find that place of happiness.

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Balance examples

As a now mother of two children, I have had some years to refine what balance not only means but looks like in my day-to-day life. Here are some ways to feel balanced:

You wake up happy to lead the day regardless of the amount of sleep you got
You are able to talk to friends more than once every 6 months
You can add 1-2 self-care strategies into your life DAILY
You have routines established for the morning and evening
You don’t go crazy every time something does not get checked off your template
You can easily pivot and adapt if something comes up (late meeting, child gets sick etc.)
You have a support system (partner, babysitter, daycare) that you can rely on when changes happen

These are examples of ways that you can feel balanced based on ones that I have formed for myself. I want you to take a minute and write down 3 ways that would help you feel less stressed or happy during your weekly and daily life.

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But I’m tired

Listen, I get it 100%! Sometimes you have this perfect plan and schedule, but you are just so tired. Days like that happen and WILL happen. The point is not to be perfect but to have a positive outlook. You want to have more days where you are ready to conquer what’s ahead then more days where you wake up dreading everything you have to do.

When you start to think positively and speak positively with regards to situations around you, everything changes. When you have children, you will forever be tired to some degree. But it’s how you handle the tiredness that makes all the difference.

How to get there

Once you figure out what balance will look like in your life, you need to make a plan and take action. Balance is simply finding ways to manage your time effectively so that you feel happy and ready to lead the day. Here are three main steps.

Step #1: Make a plan

Pick the top 3 ways that would make you feel more balanced. Once those are picked, make a plan on adding them into your schedule. For example, if you want a support system that you can rely on, part of your plan will include sitting down with your boss at work and your childcare and explaining different situations that may happen (sick child, long meeting) and establishing the best way to communicate. I will break this down even more in next week’s blog post.

Step #2: Add into into your schedule (if applicable)

If part of having more balance means adding two self-care strategies such as listening to a woman empowerment podcast on your way to work and writing in a gratitude journal for 5 minutes before bed, then add it into your schedule. That could be an alarm clock or a physical planner (whatever works best for you). Here are some amazing mom tools to help you manage your different tasks (including self-care).

Step #3: Do it/ Stick to it

This is the hard part. You can write down your plan, put it in your calendar but never actually do it. You need to make a promise to yourself. You need to commit to what you say you are going to do. No one else can do that for you. Remember, our mindset is our secret weapon to parenting while also working.

Note: regardless of what you put down as your 3 keyways of achieving balance, you will ALWAYS need to be flexible as a working mom. There is so much that you still cannot predict and when you start to accept that and work with it – a lot of the added stress disappears.

Oftentimes, we add more stress into our lives by the way we react to uncomfortable or undesired outcomes. When things don’t go as planned, step back, take a breath, pivot and move on with the next plan. Trust me, once you adopt that strategy, balance will be the last bit of problem for you.

What is next

Go and start finding the balance that will create harmony and not stress in your life. Forget what you’ve been told to believe balance is and find your OWN definition. Enjoy your kids, enjoy your family, enjoy your career, accept the crazy, pivot and adjust. Yes, there are ROUGH days but when you have the right tools to combat those days, life becomes that much better.

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