As working moms, we are often looking for ways to find a greater work life balance.
The truth is that under the traditional definition of balance, it is quite impossible for us to ever achieve that greater balance. Traditionally, balance means to give equal attention and energy to different tasks and responsibilities. But how can we do that if we are working 8-hour shifts, cleaning the house for 1 hour, watching the kids for 4 hours and so on and so forth?
My take? Us working moms CAN find balance, it just needs to be self-defined!
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Balance is a feeling. It’s a feeling of joy.
It’s waking up and going about your day with happiness regardless of how much sleep you had that night. Because, when you enter this world of motherhood you know tough days lie ahead, but the negative thoughts and emotions don’t overpower you.
So, if you find yourself unmotivated and unhappy, constantly crying or angry (along with little to no patience) then you need to step back and re-evaluate why you are there and how to make it better. You need to dig deep within and start working on YOU first.
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You need to first focus on self-care before reaching greater balance.
Self-care has 3 layers: mind, body and soul. In the blog post, I will dive deeper into self-care through mindset building. It’s after you have built both a positive and growth mindset in being a working mother, that you can work on everything else. Below are the 3 steps of self-care through mindset building.
Step #1: Figure out your greater vision for life as a working mother
For this, you can do a number of different activities. One super helpful activity is creating a vision board and asking yourself how your life looks 10 years from now [with a particular attention to your current role as a working mom]. For example: Is this the job you will be in? What car are you driving? Who is taking care of the kids?
Step #2: Set REALISTIC and intentional goals to reach a point of greater balance
This will be an important practice to adapt into your life and something you will need to consistently revisit to make sure you are grounding yourself on your vision (created by YOU).
With goal setting, take what you envision for yourself and write out goals for how you will get there. Again, stay focused on what it is that you need in order to feel JOY regardless of your long to-do lists.
Some questions to consider:
How does my work schedule look?
What do I need from my partner? Childcare?
What do I need to do less of?
Answer these questions honestly! And then look at your current circumstance and make a goal on how to change and/or fix that.
Your schedule is too packed with work events. A goal could be: I will only attend 3 work events every month.
You need more help from your partner with the cleaning. A goal could be: My partner does the dishes 3x a week. (of course, this will take communication).
You need to stop responding to emails when you are with your kids. A goal could be: I put my phone away from 9am – 10am and dedicate time ONLY to my kids.
Step 3: Execute and add into your daily schedule.
Growing a positive and growth mindset takes time for everyone. It’s all great if you reflect, write a vision board and set some goals. But it is not until you actually hold yourself accountable and continuously do these things that you will actually see results. Hold yourself accountable! If you have trouble with this, have someone remind you every day. Carve out time in your day and write it into your schedule.
So, what is the big takeaway?
Make mindset self-care a priority! That is when you will be wholesome for everyone else (and most importantly yourself and your kids). Take that first step!
I got you covered, mamas. Here I have a free downloadable self-care calendar! Go grab it right now and make self-care a priority in YOUR life.